silence isn't always golden...

so I preface this with an apology to those it makes uncomfortable...I'm trying not to be an alarmist...I've tried to follow my own advice & remain calm until you have a reason to actually freak the hell out...but this is MY blog...so here goes...

Last night I found a lump in my breast. I am sorry it's so blunt but I've been saying it for hours...almost 24 of them to be exact. I had a pain...the kids & I were playing & I think I had a flip flop thrown at me...it hurt. I got in bed later & said out loud..."My boob hurts!" (all class here folks, I know!!) So I went to see if it was bruised...I pulled down my tank top & THERE IT WAS, I felt it with the side of my finger, a lump...A LUMP...I grabbed Barry's hand & said," Feel this...WHAT IS THIS???" & he giggled like the little boy he is...lol...then I watched him get uncomfortable right in front of me...& he just said, "Call a doctor, I'm not a doctor." I kept asking him if it was a lump & he just held me & told me to relax.

When I mentioned it to Heath, she gave me statistics...thanks for always geeking me into laughter! But, I know what can happen...I buried Aurelia Kates 14 years ago...I don't care about the math...I want to see my children get married...!!! Am I a lunatic for freaking out before I know anything?? YES & I'm rational enough to know that...but, I'm still freaking out.


So, I called the idiot doctor & will see them tomorrow...the boys at work can't get over the fact that a man gets paid to grab boobies all day...I tried explaining that it's really not that glamorous of a job...that they're immune at this point...but, they don't buy it!!!!!!!!!

So...I'm not trying to scare you...but please...say a prayer if you read this before then...I could use a little strength & some peace & maybe some sleep...I'm just a chicken right now...& I need a little love...so I'm asking quite nicely...please let me be ok!!!! I can't not be ok...I've got really great boobs...I'd hate to think they're turning on me.