Merry Christmas!!

Barry's last gift came, all my wrapping is done...now we're just in celebration mode...WISHING YOU ALL & YOUR FAMILIES THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CHRISTMAS & A BLESSED 2008!!!

we love you all!!!

hectic...

We're all ready for Santa...I'm trying to fight off a cold & avoid the kids so I don't give it to them...hoping this Christmas no one in our house is sick! Barry & I got all our wrapping done this past weekend- I just have to wrap a few more things for him & I can sit back AND RELAX!!! Just waiting for his last gift to be delivered...I did print out a color photo of it from the internet in case it doesn't arrive in time...& I'm really not stressing at all about it coming or not- it'll get here sooner or later. This is the first Christmas in YEARS...that I'm actually welcoming with no stress at all.

Are there things I could be stressing over...sure...I haven't baked a single cookie (which is my own holiday tradition), there never seems like there are enough gifts...or enough money spent...but REALLY...I think something in me told me to chill out.

I guess maybe it had to do with Gregg's funeral...I realized there are just much bigger things in the world then trying to buy the perfect gift...So, I'm comfortable & relaxed and HAPPY...I'm going to enjoy this holiday with all of my very favorite people & I'm going to love them & laugh with them & let them know I think THEY are my perfect gift...although I'll always accept something wrapped beautifully!! LOL!!!

& sometimes...the perfect gift is just a smile, a hug & a home cooked meal...& it takes the PERFECT PERSON to think that...I love you all...Merry Christmas!!!

Enjoy my MOST PERFECT GIFTS EVER...how cute are these kids????? :)

Happy Birthday, beautiful girl!!!

Happy 33rd birthday, Mooshie!!! We love you to pieces & hope the next 33 are just as beautiful! We are so lucky & thankful to have you in our lives! It was an incredible weekend...thank you for going to the Giants game with Barry, Zach & me...it totally ROCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you more than you could possibly imagine!!! You are the BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for letting us share one of the greatest days in HISTORY with you...33 years ago on 12/8...I was given an incredible gift that I wouldn't find until junior high...I'm so glad I had to go to speech class for you...MAWGIE MOYAH! Sending you millions of hugs & kisses on your perfect day!!!

Just take the damn test already!

I wanted to fill you all in on Brandon's first sleepover, the birthday party we went to with Josh & Dawn for Brandon's little friend Danielle, my Christmas shopping adventures, how I made an ass out of myself by screaming with excitement to Katie over the phone while at work because she went poopie on the potty, how excited the kids are to be seeing Santa tonight, how excited I am to see their little faces on Christmas because I got Guitar Hero, James Bundy's autograph & Ponyville...but I can't! There's something that's been eating at me...

It started Sunday night when Red called me to tell me that Gregg had passed away & what she'd been told of the tragic circumstances of his untimely passing...my heart sank & that feeling was back, one I thought I'd gotten over (mostly). One I thought I'd placed in a dark corner of my heart only to re-visit when thinking of how Sammy had gone...& wondering if there were something I could have done to reach out better, or to try to wrap my mind around it all. I just can't...still.

But, I was there again...wondering all of those very same things, still feeling inadequate when it came to explaining to myself...wondering how a person just feels so much pain or worry or sorrow...wondering what they were feeling at all...something I'll never know.

I put it out of my head as best I could...but then last night as I stood there with a best girl on either side of me, my Red & Mooshie right there by my side as always, holding my hands...looking at this boy I once knew, who I shared so many laughs with, who got me into trouble & I didn't mind; because we were having fun & we were in a class we both loved...the moment took my breath away. I knew I couldn't have done it without those two girls...but I still couldn't walk away; I didn't want to leave him there like that, I didn't want to say goodbye.

I wanted to get another Merry Christmas email filled with the details of his children's faces when they opened gifts. I wanted to hear him complain that he's gaining weight, or he's too tired from working so much. I wanted to read the words he closed every single email with...Great to hear from you keep in touch! I wanted to keep in touch.

So, we sat...& I saw a tall man enter the room & it suddenly clicked...LIFE IS A TEST. I'm not a religious kind of girl...but it really did come to me from someone!! John Gamble walked in, this strong educator whom I admire greatly. He was moved by this event & he was gracious...when I graduated almost 15 years ago, I admired him. Knowing that he remembered us 15 years later & was happy to see we were well but wished we'd bumped into him under different circumstances- it touched me. He didn't need to be there, he didn't need to love his students, but he just did...that was Mr. Gamble always & he moved me to tears. But I really did hear it...LIFE IS A TEST. To stop myself from crying at my desk...I just thought...maybe Mr. Gamble is the second coming of Christ & he actually spoke those words to me...I know I have a sick sense of humor....but it is funny & that would be kinda cool! :)

So, I've been thinking...it's not a pass or fail kind of test, but I know there are definitely wrong answers. I'm not sure how I'm doing on my test...I know there are moments when I'm getting every answer right! I see that in my children. I looked at Gregg's children 2 of them upset & 2 untouched by the gravity of what was happening around them...based purely upon the fact that the # of years they've been taking their tests is just a small one...they'll never know their Daddy...that hurts my heart...he was a fun guy & a proud Daddy...I hope someone tells them that!

I know there have been moments in my test when I needed Cliff's Notes...there have been moments that required 2 friends & a phone book, moments that I needed Jody Carr to hold my hand in her daughter's room & tell me I answered that part of my test correctly, moments that required me taking a long drive across our country only to be rescued by Melissa Hall, moments that required my sister beating down doors to get to me, moments that required me taking my baby sisters to the police station...I'm not sure how I did on those parts, I guess we'll see.

But there are my moments...when I've reached out to a long lost friend to be given a best friend back for the rest of my life, moments when my best friend was there to hold my newborn & to rescue his Daddy at Burger King, moments when we as sisters in our hearts have loved each other through a loss of a loved one...seeing those 2 faces when all hope is gone...those are moments I know I'm rocking the HELL out of this test.

I was never very studious, good grades just came naturally to me so test taking isn't really an issue. I love tests & I love a challenge even more...& yes, life is a test. There are hard parts & easy parts. Parts where I don't know the answer but I can certainly phone a friend. I'm not against "cheating" at this test...sometimes more people need to help me with my test. And sometimes I just want to look away from my answer sheet & play with Play Doh & my babies all day! However, my one option I KNOW is NOT to stop taking this test, it is a test I am thankful for, even when I can't read the questions. It is a test that has blessed me with so much.

I do want all of you- wherever you are, to know that my solemn promise to you is...if at any time, day or night...you think you just can't take your test anymore...CALL ME...I will come running...I will bring my cheat sheet, or a bottle of wine, or 2 arms to hug you tighter than you could possibly imagine...I WILL TAKE YOUR TEST WITH YOU!!! I mean that more than you can ever know! The questions I have in my heart are too many to bear another unknown loss. I will be there, I swear...don't stop believing in US, we can get through anything together.

I love you all completely...with all that I am...LOVE YOURSELVES!!

AND TAKE THE DAMN TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so busy...

Well, I can't honestly say nothing new since I last wrote...we've just been so busy!!! Brandon was sick over Thanksgiving, WHS lost to Paulsboro, I'm now sick...Grandmom & Pop Pop are in Florida on a beautiful & well deserved vacation (which leaves Barry & I with having to REALLY be Mommy & Daddy...something we're not used to at all!!!) Meggie got her VERY FIRST CAR!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so proud of her...it's adorable & it's I'm Not Really A Waitress red...so cute!

All I can say is THANK GOD for my in-laws...they spoil us rotten...we've been driving ourselves insane with picking Brandon up from the bus & getting Katie from school...things they do which we honestly fail to realize is SUCH AN ENORMOUS HELP!!! Red has been taking care of Brandon after school...another ENORMOUS HELP!!! I just feel completely lost...it's a little scary!

We do, however, have our Christmas tree up & it's completely beautiful...if I do say so myself! It's a stinky picture from my stinky phone...but you get the point...I'll be taking more with my camera this weekend! & I have adjusted the positioning of the tree so you don't see that cord of lights leading to the wall...that pic is when I was still playing with the tree...LOL! I can hardly wait for Christmas this year...Brandon & Katie are so excited...it's all they talk about & I'm threatening them constantly..."Don't make me call Santa!" The fear that strikes into a child is a glorious thing...although...Kate keeps saying..."Do it, do it!" I don't think she has the same fear that my beautiful Brandon does...LOL! That's the beauty of my ladybug though!!! :) NO FEAR! :)

I fell asleep in the recliner again last nite...Barry tries to no avail to wake me & then I end up sleeping in jeans...& then bitching at him for letting me sleep in jeans...I think it's like the 4th time that's happened since he started making nightly fires in the fireplace...I can't resist the snuggly feeling of that chair & my blanket...the heat of that fire & the smell of burning wood...a fireplace was always something I adored as a child & so I'm addicted now! So...I keep sleeping in the basement...LOL!

November is OVER today...good LORD! This year has been incredible...& it's almost gone! I wonder what 2008 will bring...hopefully only more beautiful things!!! Happy Friday, my loves!!! I've got TONS of Christmas shopping to do this weekend...wish me luck!!!

& Red...THANK YOU for dinner last nite & for helping me this week...you really are the very BEST!!! I'd be lost without you!!!!!!!!

6 words...

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL??


Hoping the Herd does as well this Saturday as they did last Saturday! FYI...that's Jimmer & James Bundy (James is the kids FAVORITE player & Jimmer was mine!!!) #5 in the middle is James doing his THING!!! & the last pic is of me, Kate, Bran (he is the brown hat & orange coat) & Kelly at the game this past Saturday...we were on the front page of the Courier Post!! GO HERD!!!!!!!

been meaning to blog...

just haven't found the time; but I'm taking the time now...Margie is in Florida & leaves for the Bahamas tomorrow- she's having a total blast. Tomorrow starts my Cole duty...Bran & Kate can't wait!

This past weekend...one of the coolest I've had in a while. Tia & I took the kids to a WHS football game- the HERD crushed Audubon & the kids had a great time. I really love high school football- there's just something amazing about kids just playing because it's something they love. I got goosebumps hearing Mr. Dickson's voice say, "James Bundy on the carry!" & "Touchdown, James Bundy!" it took me back to those days when I was in junior high & he was talking about James' dad, Jimmer.

I guess you had to be there..or you have to love WHS football as much as I do...but I know I was witnessing something great...I was watching this game through Jimmer's eyes...seeing him stand there on the sideline beaming with pride as his son had the same incredible accomplishments on that very same field that he had so many years before with the same man calling the action...IT ROCKED. It was one of those moments that sucks the air out of you as a parent...when you realize the magic that another parent is living. It also made me think about WHS's biggest fan, Bill Moyer...& how excited I know he was to be seeing it too...he was appreciating it as much as I was...I'M CERTAIN!

So...great afternoon...followed by a REALLY great nite! Dawn picked me up for a nite out with my girls...& it was different girls...I was a little nervous I admit...I just wanted no drama & to see these girls that I knew years ago & I wanted to have fun with them, to love them...like I did over 15 years ago...& you know what???? I DID! We laughed & caught up & talked about our babies & our girlfriends & what makes us the women we've become. And I loved it!!! Dawn was completely charming & relaxed...& we laughed...and had a 2 a.m. Wawa run...followed by a little road trip!! ;) I haven't done that in years!!!

Margie texted pics from Florida that morning so we all got to look at her adventures & hope that she brings us home some WARM WEATHER! Red had a headache & didn't make it. They were both missed & I filled everyone in on them. I hope we all get to do it again real soon...& that Moosh & Red will be there...they missed an incredible evening!

Dawn, Kristen, Tia, Algina, & Mrs. Twig...thanks for a super fun nite! Looking forward to doing it again real soon!!!

Sunday, Barry & I took the kids to Toys 'R Us to spend their gift cards they got for their birthdays...we were there for almost 3 hours...Bran walked in & knew what he wanted...Mommy's princess...she had to look at EVERy toy on EVERY aisle...there might be something better around the corner...THAT'S MY GIRL!!!!!!! I can't wait to start really shopping with her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last nite I talked to Moosh again...she's loving life...I'll talk to her again tonite & then not again until SUNDAY...no chatting at sea! Bon Voyage sweet girl!! OH...& tonite...Dawn is going to learn her way to WHS so she can meet us on Saturday to get her football game on (Josh has soccer until 12:30 & I can't be late for kickoff...I have issues, I'm aware!) ...& I'll show her the Woodbury spots...no kids...just smoking & touring Woodbury...just like the good old days...that was before kids though...& I didn't have a license...LOL! A little stalking route anyone...LOL!!!!!!??????????

CONGRATULATIONS, MEGGIE!!!

THIS IS THE FACE OF SOUTH JERSEY'S NEWEST DRIVER!!!!!!!!!! WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU MEGGIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAY TO GO...WE KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Halloween...

The perfect night, perfect weather & the PERFECT costumes! They both were gorgeous & did a GREAT job saying Trick-or-Treat! They thanked everyone & told them Happy Halloween...Barry, Margie & I loved taking them out, just like last year! Being back in the old neighborhood was perfect, ran into the old neighbors & had many, many laughs.

Halloween is always a fun night, they get so excited! They got way too much candy from Donna when we stopped up at Daddy's shop to say hello - she absolutely adores kids. It's really nice to work for someone who has as much enthusiasm for her workers families as she does for the employees themselves. Barry got lucky in going there. They're all genuinely sweet people. It's always a pleasure to spend time with them.

Then we went to Aunt Red's & Uncle Steve's to see Trevy as a puppy & Tyler as Shrek- they were beautiful! We got the added bonus of seeing Aunt Jody & Uncle Al...always a treat!!!

They ended their evening over at Club Gill...where Bran got to play with his good buddy Ethan & Mommy & Daddy got to have a few beers wit h Zach & Dezi & Mr. & Mrs. Gill...the perfect way to end out Halloween!

Mischief Nite...

Ok, I'm an old lady, we've established this fact...how is 2007 almost over though?? Tonight is mischief night...it used to be so much fun as a child...what did I do for mischief night 2007??

I planned the rest of my Halloween costume (for work only...I can't be seen in public embarrassing myself...just around these guys...I'm sure I'll post pics of our work party!

I chatted with Tia over our plans for Saturday...we're taking our babies to WHS to see football...Bran has been there but doesn't remember...Kate & Drew are going to their first games! We decided what time we're meeting for drinks later that evening...& chatted about how we can't wait to not be called Mommy for a few hours...& that looking at Brent will be fun as usual!

Chatted with Barry...they got pics taken today for some magazine...he said it felt like school picture day! They're competing for the #1 Honda shop in the NATION...so...he's gonna be famous...LOL! I can't wait to see! I hope they win!

Finished planning our Trick-or-Treat festivities...so many places to go...hoping to have enough time to do it all!

Eventful Mischief Nite...for an old lady! Don't get your trees tee-peed...if you do...& you hear wild laughter & snorting from the person running across your lawn...well, it might just be ME...if I can stay awake until dark!

Happy Birthday...to one of the very best friends a girl could ask for!

Happy 32nd birthday to my very favorite co-worker!! I wish you millions more birthdays! I hope this year is as perfect for you as the last was!

You rock, Norton! Happy Birthday to YOU! Thanks for making my Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays & Fridays SUPERB!


Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Norton, Happy Birthday to you!!

It's not as good as the other blog...but I tried! :)

the sweetest, most magnificent boy i know...Happy Birthday, Brandon!

Let me begin by saying...Pop had a beautiful birthday...we surprised him with cake & ice cream! 10/19 was his birthday & he again reminded me that all he wanted for his 60th birthday was my baby to be born & I couldn't deliver...but I gave Kelly a baby on her birthday 4 years later...LOL!

Saturday came & it was perfect...the weather was incredible, warm enough to run & play in the afternoon with just long sleeved shirts & cool enough in the evening for a light jacket. I always get perfect weather for Brandon's birthday...it's like God's birthday present to him!

The usual insanity occurred this weekend...Aunt Mooshie's car oozed steering fluid all over on Saturday morning & she couldn't steer it...by the grace of God, this happened in our driveway & not out on the road...Pop Pop & Barry saved the day as usual...Barry was there to laugh at her & chase her with gunky car parts & Pop ordered what she needed to get driving again! That man is a miracle worker...& the sweetest guy in the world! He always comes running whenever we need him!

We had an incredible time at Creamy Acres with all of our very favorite people. We missed Uncle Brucie & Celie...we hope he feels better soon! Brandon kept saying Saturday night when we came home for dinner with Red & Steve (his Godparents) & their adorable children how great his 7th birthday was...he was so excited talking about the petting zoo, the playground & the hayride...not to mention picking pumpkins!

I remember only 2 birthdays from my childhood...my 5th...I spent it in Underwood & my 16th- a very sweet friend & Heatho threw me a surprise party. Those are it...& I know just by how he spoke of his incredible day...this is going to be one of those birthdays he can remember at 33! It's my goal every year to make them realize that I celebrate them...that the people we love celebrate them too...that I am so thankful for them & those 2 days...they're my own personal holidays! My 2 favorite days of my entire life!

Brandon loved waking up on his birthday (Sunday) to his "Birthday Pancakes" & he got to play DS for as long as he wanted...that's the beauty of having your party NOT on your actual birthday, you then get 2 days to be the ruler of Mommy's universe! It was a perfect day....the perfect way to celebrate one of the true loves of my life!

He's a sweet boy, all I could ever hope for in a child. He loves with all that he is. He is generous and kind he is going to be a remarkable man; this I know! He loves his Mommy & makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have the pleasure of being her!! I honestly can't believe it's been 7 years since I saw that sweet little face & heard Barry say...,"He's got your chin!" The very first words ever used to describe my little man...he's got so much more than my chin...he's got my heart, FOREVER!

no time

to blog today...but I'll post pics & tell you the tales of Brandon, my beautiful & glorious son's birthday weekend tomorrow!

I LOVE YOU, BRANDON!!!!!

Mr. & Mrs. Haller, the vacationers, the DuBrinks & the birthday boy...(when he was just my little sweet baby!!!)!! (pics for the blog below!!)

busy week...

Monday was Heather & Kurt's 1st Anniversary!
Monday was also Steve's sweet Grandpop's viewing...we love you Uncle Teve!!
Tuesday was Trish & Mike's 3rd Anniversary!
Mom & Dad are away on vacation all week...we miss them terribly!
Wednesday Uncle Brucie hurt his back at work...they had to take him to the hospital...I got the details from Barry...they're incomplete at best...he couldn't drive himself home it was so bad...I'll be calling him tonite!
It's Thursday already & I have a messy house beyond belief!!
Tomorrow is Dad's 67th birthday!!
Saturday is Brandon's 7th birthday party at Creamy Acres! He can hardly wait!!!
Sunday is Brandon's 7th birthday...so, it's not just the weeks that seem to be flying by these days...my babies are going to be 7 & 3 as of Sunday!!!!!!!!!!

Baby girl...

It is amazing to me that my angel has in fact turned 3! I remember that Thursday in such vivid detail...I remember just knowing it was here, the day I was going to meet MY daughter. It was more than I could have ever imagined...that moment...when I first saw her. I remember thinking after Brandon was born that I would NEVER love another human being like I loved him.I worried the entire time I was pregnant with Katelyn that I would still feel that way...and I know the peace that washed over me the second I looked into those eyes~ knowing that I had been a lunatic all along. I felt that same feeling & I knew how the Grinch felt...because as sure as I sit here, I felt my heart grow in that instant!

I fell completely & utterly in love with this girl, in a way I could never imagine. I say it frequently about Brandon, that he is my reason for living...I don't say it nearly enough about my Katelyn. She is ME, she is everything I could hope for in a child, magical & adorable & stubborn & hysterical. I am fascinated by this child; I await every second I spend with her, I long for her voice when I am away from her. I have never felt a connection between another person like the ones I share with my children. They are the very best of Barry & I...I was born to be a mother...THEIR mother!

I will never, EVER be able to thank Barry enough for the gift he has given me~ this man created the woman I am, he is responsible for showing me a love I could never imagine...these children complete me. I am eternally grateful & so blessed to be able to be their mother!

October 7th is one of 2 of the greatest days in my entire life and for as long as I live, I will treat it as the fantastic event that it was in my lifetime. Katelyn Elaine Thompson, thank you for being you. Thank you for letting me be your Mommy, thank you for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for the adventures we have shared..and the ones I look forward to more than you can ever imagine.

I am truly blessed to have this little girl who loves pink as much as I do, who loves a manicure, who loves a hug & a frilly dress...who adores the women in our lives, Andrea Lynn, Margaret Alice, Kelly, Meghan, Heather, my mom, my mother-in-law, Barb, Trish, Tara, Kayla & McKenzie as much as I do...if not more!!! She is so generous with her heart & that is the greatest gift in the world.

Thank you deeply to all of you who were there to celebrate one of the true loves of my life!!!

& Happy 25th Birthday Kelly...you're so lucky to get to share your birthday with Katie Kate...you both ROCK!

AND, BECAUSE I DIDN'T BLOG ON OCTOBER 1ST...HAPPY 35TH BIRTHDAY TO MY BIG SISTER, HEATHER!!! HOPE IT WAS PERFECT...WE LOVE YOU!!!

NATIONAL LEAGUE EAST CHAMPIONS!!!!!!

yes...it has happened, since 1993 I have waited patiently...& in between football games today...my son, my husband, my favorite neighbor Zach & my Mooshie watched it happen with me...we saw my beloved Phillies win the National League East! They watched me cry & tell Brandon repeatedly to remember this moment...I want him to remember the heart pounding excitement I just felt!

It was electrifying...I haven't been that excited in so long...just knowing how excited the people I love the most are at this very moment moves me beyond tears...we have done it, we've finally arrived!!!!!!!!!

Now...let's just hope those stinking Eagles don't play as well this evening!

beautiful weather...

this weather is perfect...the crunchy leaves, the crisp air, the cool breeze...doesn't get much better than this! It's FOOTBALL weather...as soon as baseball season is over...& for the Phillies fans I know & love completely...I hope that's not for quite some time yet! That game last nite was freaking incredible!! I was screaming & cheering...& having some drinks...I LOVE BASEBALL...almost as much as FOOTBALL!!!

Good luck to my fabulous boys of summer today...hope they kick ass & take names...GO PHILS!!!!!

Then we're off to Celie's birthday party this evening...so Happy 13th Birthday, Celie!! We love you!!

2 for 1...

It's been one of those past few days...so I'll share...LOL!

The sleepover party I had with Margie certainly wasn't like the ones we used to have, I put Brandon & Katie to bed around 8:30. Barry was out in the garage working & Margie & I just watched t.v., she was myspacing a bit & I can't for the life of me remember what was on t.v. I just know that at 10 we were both exhausted & hit the sheets. Well, I did...she hit the sofa in the basement.

We were up bright & early (6 a.m.) on Saturday for our road trip to Virginia...cleaned the windows in the car & all, we were so stoked! We ran to Dunkin' Donuts for some coffee & were headed to Mom & Dad T's to get our day started! We start to load ourselves into the cars & Dad says my car is making a funny noise, I shouldn't take it...now you know I have to smoke, we have to have the tunes from the IPOD & we're so excited about a 3 hour drive just to goof around together that we object repeatedly & I INSIST on having my own way...like any responsible 33 year old woman would! LOL!

We get there perfectly...the noise gets louder but I do as Pop always tells me & I just turn the radio up- we load things up for Aunt Flo in just a few hours (the 5 of us together ...me, Moosh, Ant, Mom & Dad T.~ were a well oiled machine!) & I'm rubbing in the fact that we wouldn't have been able to get all of her belongings back to Jersey in just 2 vehicles...guess I showed him who knows what, didn't I?? We get back on the road & we're loving life...got the tunes cranked, we're singing & dancing & laughing...& reminiscing on how much fun a road trip is! Then...this happened...

"Your battery light just came on!?" says Margie.

"My what? Look at the temperature gauge, that's not good," I reply.

"Shut off the air conditioner, turn the radio off," she hollers.

"Oh MY GOD, Marge...there's smoke...pouring out behind us, pull over, there's smoke! Get out of the car...NOT ON THAT SIDE, get out my side!" I'm screaming.

~And that was how we discovered the fact that my beloved father-in-law is always right!~

Once we got to the side of 95 North and stopped the car which at this point was pouring antifreeze all over the ground & smoking like a BBQ pit in Texas, all I could do was laugh...& be grateful that my glorious in-laws have AAA Plus! (that was after I got upset & cried briefly on the phone with Barry!)

We waited on 95 N. for about an hour with Pop & Anthony...who loved every single second of being trapped with his Aunt Anne & I know it...he's gonna be telling his grandchildren how rockin' that day was! The tow truck came (the driver was easy on the eyes...Margie should have gone in the truck) & we were off again...to Jersey...Pop, Margie & Fern in the front seat...& me...on a plastic step stool in the fetal position in what should have been the back seat but that was folded up to make room for a t.v. that would be given to cousin Eric to drive back to Virginia to keep in just a few short hours...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

We laughed so hard all the way home...it really was a great road trip, even with the smoking car & being trapped on the side of the highway...Sunday, Pop fixed Wilma (my car) & has her running LIKE NEW! My beloved Giants won, Zach, Brent & Moosh came over for football & wings...it was a great end to a great weekend!

Then, yesterday...Moosh, Brandon & I went to see King Tut at the Franklin Institute...Brandon was as amazed as I was by the entire thing...it truly is something everyone should do at some point in their life if they're given the opportunity- the thought of it all just gives me goosebumps, really just an incredible sight! To know how talented these people were & to see the things they made & had...it was UNREAL! Not to mention...there were items that had frogs & cows & horses on them...Bran thought it was "totally cool" that while they wrote differently & their dogs didn't look like ours do (LOL) the cows & horses & frogs looked exactly the same...that's my boy, always SUPER observant! :) Just a few days left before Tut is gone for who knows how long...the last time these items were here in our area was in 1977...you may want to go if you haven't already...INSANELY AMAZING!

It's been a surreal few days...hope you're all well...LOVES YA!!!!

ok, well...

Bran finally had show & share today...of course, I had to write her a note asking when his day was before she let him do it...but, it's done. He loved it...he's the only shy kid I know who loves showing off toys to his class. He took a spelling test & a reading test today & got 100's on both~ I'm creating a genius! He had school pictures today & I can't wait to see his beautiful little smile!

Waiting to hear from Margie...we're having a sleepover tonight...I know you're all thinking we're going to be having some wild, crazy girl time...which I'm sure I will...but, she's sleeping over so she can be the sweetest girl tomorrow with me...we're taking a road trip to go help Barry's Aunt Florence move from Virginia to Jersey! It's going to be fun...well, the road trip part will be! LOL!

Happy Friday, my loves!!!

obituary...

ok, i know this is supposed to be the day i write my obituary & put it on here so you can tell Barry where it is when the time comes...(some of you are freaking out at that...i have an obsession with obituaries & i want mine to be REALLY about me...that explanation & the writing of the obit is for another day! i really will explain my NEED to read them daily...it's really a thing & i feel a sense of confusion when i don't do it...I NEVER SAID I WAS FREAKING SANE!

Today...I'm having an issue...I'm feeling a little Mrs. Nicely loss...every nite since school started I get the massive pile of papers from school & I try to sort through them. I just feel LOST! Which scares me...does Bran also feel lost? I find myself saying (when there are 3 sets of instructions for homework & none of them are the same...) , Mrs. Nicely never did it like this. I know it's wrong of me & I know this poor sweet girl is just starting out...but, I'll be damned if her school website didn't have mis-spelled words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know how I am about that...& you're teaching MY SON!?

I really know it's just starting out & I should relax...but I feel the tension when I need to go over these things. Barry is equally confused. Tonite she sends home a paper saying tomorrow is picture day...the school calendar says it's Friday, the paperwork from the photographer says it's Friday...everything we got prior to this said it's Friday...& she now says it's tomorrow...do I send him in what I want his pic in & hope she's right or do I use my better judgement & save it for Friday? & why is everything so confusing this year?

i'm holding out hope that she WOW's me on back-to-school nite...i REALLY am...I'll reserve judgement until then!!!

hoping i'm just being over-protective ME!

This day in history...

5 years ago today...this man asked me to marry him & I said yes!

4 years ago today, we got MARRIED!!!

Happy 4th Anniversary, Barry...I love you entirely for the rest of my life!

9/11/2007

Painfully, it's been 6 years since the Towers fell & thousands died. It's clearly one of those things that people are going to be able to say for the rest of their lives they know where they were at that very moment. It's the Kennedy assasination, MLK assasination, John Lennon assasination of our times! And I woke up this morning with a heavy heart, I listened to the live feed of the day's events & found myself feeling that pain & fear all over again.

The sense of loss is immeasurable. And I come home, hug my children & pray that this isn't the world I'm giving them. Then, I see a commercial...it's a wounded veteran of this "WAR" in Iraq...telling me that he supports this war even though it cost him his legs & that pulling out is quitting...that this is not a time for politics...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???

Seriously...on this of all days...is that propaganda the kind of thing our fearless President really wants to cram down our stupid throats...TODAY??? & it's not a time for politics...it's a politically motivated commercial on a day when THOUSANDS of families are merely trying to survive one more anniversary of their immense loss...and this is how our government respects those people who were VICTIMS of just being! They are not the reason for this war...that attack is not the reason for this war...if it were...we would be in AFGHANISTAN where Bin Laden is...not in IRAQ!!!!

Do not blame this war on those poor innocent people who just got up to have a regular day at work & were stolen from their families in a moments notice!! This is GOERGE BUSH'S war...not the War To Defend The Thousands That Were Stolen From Those That Love Them!

I'm getting off my soap box & I'm not going to let those FUCKERS ruin a day that I think should be spent THANKING God for the people we love...& letting them know it...so YOU...all of you who read this...I LOVE YOU!!! I do, from the very core of my being! I am eternally grateful to know and love you...SINCERELY!

I will pray tonight for peace in the hearts & minds of those who lost loved ones six years ago...& for those of us who just feel the heart break of that day when we think of it. It truly is a national tragedy, one we should take more time to reflect on...it changed my life, that day...I appreciate the little things so much more...the beauty in JUST waking up, or getting a kiss...or the opportunity to yell at Brandon & Katelyn for bickering...they're all treasures!! And I'll pray for all of you that I love...for God to keep you safe, and warm & here with me for many more years...no matter how far away from me you are...Amy! :)...or how close! Peace & love be with you all!

I also have a request...a friend of a friend (her name is Lisa P.) is having surgery tomorrow...surgery that will require great strength & love...if you could all send her a little bit of yours, it would mean the world to my girlfriend Dawn & to me! Say a little prayer that all goes well, that she is fearless & fights this battle knowing that there are people she doesn't even know who are wishing her the best in the trying times ahead & knowing that she is going to be PERFECTLY fine! Keep the FAITH, Lisa...you are beautiful & strong and our hearts are with you through all of this!!!

I love you all so immensely...know that...you are all so special to me & I wouldn't be who I am without each of you!!!

SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT...

I get into bed Thursday nite & Barry snuggles me...it's been an emotional week for me...so I breathe in deep & sigh...with that I say, "You smell beautiful, you smell like... forever." & he looked at me like I had just told him the most incredible secret in the world...he hugged me tight & kissed my forehead & his response was..."I love you!" I don't know what it was about my statement...I was just thinking out loud, but I knew letting him know that something about that smell I smelled at that moment made him feel loved.

This got me thinking (& staying up for hours) about smells...the ones that mean the most to me...& here some of them are...& who they relate to.

The earliest smell I can remember is that of Old Spice & Heineken...mixed in the most incredibly scrumptious way~ that is my Pop Dugan.

Then, there's sea salt, the smell of the bay & a slight hint of a great bottle of Italian wine~ that's my Granddad Smith.

My mom's smell is Fall, pumpkin spice, The Cookies That Got Bob Fired, & a menthol cigarette (it's not a bad thing).

Funnel Cake, posterboard paint, the smell of crepe paper streamers fresh out of their package, street vendor popcorn & crisp fall air accented with the sound ofcrunching leaves will always be my sister Heather to me. She is Sun Ripened Raspberry & the smell of burnt toast. :)

Kelly is the smell of glittery hairspray, wine coolers, the stink that comes off of pom poms that are flat & need to be scrunched...it's a really good plastic smell that a very few of us love. The smell of a midget football field stand (they all smell the same) it's completely Kelly to me.

My Meggie comes to mind whenever I smell a bakery, Bath & Body products, and really yummy hair products. Meg is the smell of a sweet cocktail, Ralph perfume, the smell of lip gloss, Dunkin' Donuts coffee, & Arbor Mist.

Always the newest, expensive, and most beautiful perfumes I smell when walking thru Macy's perfume section take me to my Red instantly...that along with the smell of a great pair of new shoes, the smell of a new car, the smell of clean baby, the smell of champagne (which she never liked but I always get to celebrate a milestone between us...engagements, babies, whatever) they are all her...the things we've experienced together & love equally. Lasagna, birthday cake, Miller Light, cigarettes, Colonial Diner coffee & because of her intense dislike...french toast. A dirty bar, broccoli, rain on a summer nite, sunscreen, they're all smells that make me think of her!

Margaret Alice...she's the winner for the weirdest ones...I can't smell a Dorito & not think of her...she's my Boone's Farm babe, the smell that happens when you light your hair on fire...or your acrylic nail, she is Colonial Pizza Fries...she always has the same smell about her...I can't for the life of me name the perfume & no one smells like her when they're wearing it...but, I love it on her. Pizza Hut, Mad Dog, bug spray, baby oil, burning bed...it's got the most insane smell...LOL!

The smell of kerosene in the parts washer, gasoline on the floor & kitty litter being used to soak it up...things you're probably wrinkling your noses at the thought of...they give me butterflies...they are my early smells from Barry (late nights spent watching him work his magic in his parent's garage) & they're the same smells I equate with his Dad...my Daddy-in-law...the best father-in-law in the world.

The smell of AC Performance...dust & motorcycle exhaust, gasoline, grease & the smell that comes off the pavement in 90 degree heat...it's Barry too...it's also Tom!

Barry is in a world of his own when it comes to smells...he is the smell of a mechanic...the smell of Ivory soap, clean laundry, my babies, grilled cheese, microwave popcorn, car cleaning products, freshly cut grass, the smell of the dirt after working in the yard, the smell of paint, polyurethane, propane, Aqua Net, MGD, food on the grill, they all remind me of him.

Brandon is Baby Magic (forever, it will remind me of his first bath), Crayola crayons, the smell of that awful blanket which I could sleep with nightly just to be close to him, baby breath, the smell of the soil being turned over by an enormous tractor...an amazing smell! The smell of chocolate makes me think of him, the smell of vanilla ice cream, and hot dogs, cotton candy, mud...they're all pure BRANDON to me!

Katie is Chanel No. 5...she LOVES it, nail polish, nail polish remover, fruit snacks, pretzels, cheese, & Lavender baby shampoo, baby lotion, ketchup, baby powder, strawberry, green beans, Kraft macaroni & cheese, fruit snacks, bananas & MILK.

My mommy-in-law is the smell of a great big juicy turkey, a nice bottle of wine, Windex, the smell of blush...it does have a smell, Suave hairspray, the smell of a BURNT hot dog, sweet things make me think of her...not only because she's sweet...but because she & Brandon share a sweet tooth...& are equally skinny so they can indulge.

The smell of Citizens Bank Park, Apricot Ale, the subway, Acqua, 2 eggs over medium with a side of bacon & potatoes, a Colonial burger, a new beer, a slice from Sal's, Dove pit stick, hair gel, minty chewing gum, the smell of a just opened cd, of a really great hoagie, or a soft pretzel...they're all smells that bring me back to superb moments in time with my very best friends!

I can still smell Sammy, Joanne will forever be Beautiful by Estee, the smell of mums is Trish, Barb is Red Door without a second thought...it astounds me how something in your nose can affect your heart so deeply...but it does.

My heart pounds when I smell these things...they make me think of all of you...they make me laugh & smile...& sometimes look back with a heavy heart, wanting to be the little girl who can snuggle the scratchy wool sweater of the man that smells like beer & Old Spice. I want to have one more walk on the beach with my Granddad, I want him to see Brandon & Kate again. I want the people to know their smells...to know that for as long as I live, these silly things will be them to me & it means the world to walk by some stranger & be back in that moment because of a smell. You're all there...living in my heart...thru my weirdly shaped nose & I wouldn't have it any other way.

SMELL YOU LATER!!

so it's been a while...

i keep meaning to write...to tell you all about how perfect & beautiful the last days of summer truly were...but then something else comes along that requires Mommy's immediate attention. Today...this was it all day...my MAN...my sweet boy! He's officially a first grader & a beautiful, sweet, sensitive one at that! Today...I had multiple epiphany's...this boy...makes me a better human being, this I know!
This was Bran & Kate on one of the last days of summer 2007...just these happy, giggly little creatures that see the amazement in laying in soft grass that tickles your toes through your flip flops...I swear to you all...we just laid there on that blanket (thanks ABC) for hours that day...laughing & coloring & being the 3 of us!! One of my favorite things about a Saturday...is I get ME time with the 2 of them...just the 3 of us! Then I get rescued just in time...LOL! Seriously though...this was one of those perfect days...one I know for the rest of my life I'll be able to hear in the back of my mind...the sounds of the 2 of them...& the smells of them...the love they give me when it's just us...those are the things I LIVE for!!!
Then, somehow, I blinked & today was here...& he kept repeating over his Pop Tart this morning...through the tears he was trying to choke back...I'M NERVOUS...that was all he said...repeatedly...I wanted to scoop him up & run away with him...to tell him Mommy would never make him do anything that scares him...but I can't...this is one of those things...these are those life lessons...sometimes you're scared & nervous about things & you STILL have to do them...they're things you'll love with all of you! I wanted to tell him...those butterflies...they're the things that let you know you're alive...they're not scary...love them...they're the things that let you know good things are ahead...that I hope one day...he'll be saying...I'M NERVOUS to me over a Pop Tart & there will be a beautiful girl getting into a white dress talking to her Mommy...who has those same butterflies! These are all the insane things I think in those moments! I know how much he loves school...how much I loved it...it's just the not knowing what you're about to face that makes him nervous...but that is the good stuff!
So...yeah, I'm sitting here crying now...thinking about how much has changed since this time last year...since just last week...it's an incredible gift Barry has given me...these 2 tiny little people...these 2 little souls that carry my heart in their hands...I can see it beat faster with every new day...with every single step that takes them closer to their beautiful & inevitably brilliant futures (c'mon...it's still me...these kids are gonna be god damn rock stars or something!!!...if i'm too serious for too long i become hysterical...gimme a damn break!!!) But, I do...I feel my heart race...it's a good race, a long hard race...it's the same race Brandon's butterflies are doing...& I can't wait to see what's waiting at the finish line...
run fast little one...just don't squeeze your hand shut too hard...my heart is a very, very sensitive thing...& take your time every so often to stop...& just enjoy the grass tickling your toes through your flip flops...no matter how old you are!


I will love you for my lifetime & far, far beyond, Brandon Alexander Thompson...you, my love...are my reason for being alive!!!