Blog # 100...

LET ME START WITH...HOW ABOUT MY GIANTS!!! I was as surprised as anyone...it was a beautiful football weekend for me!

Friday I took a mental health day & enjoyed myself completely. I was feeling so much better...that lead to Saturday...LADIES NITE!!! It started as this sweet little gathering at the Swedes; Vicki, T, Margie & I thought it wise to leave my car at home & venture over to The Hollywood to meet up with Kristen, Algina, Red & Meghan & when they decided to leave...

Margie, Tia & I ended up at Nippers until the lights came up & we were told the bar was closing...for you other old folks like us...that doesn't happen until 3 a.m. I don't remember the last time I saw 3 a.m. but I'm pretty certain it involved a sick child!!

So, there we were...with David Boyd, Kyle Miller, Justin Elmore, lovely little Esther & the rest of the 21-25 year old crowd...really appreciating the fact that Woodbury was so small. Because even though there were MANY years between us...we all knew each other & it was like a little reunion...in which we were the adults who knew our limits & were thankful for that knowledge...I'm guessing there was a little puking going on in Woodbury on Saturday night...but there wasn't any in the Mickleton/Swedesboro/Davis Street area!

Tomorrow we'll be saying goodbye to Mr. Choyce & hoping they can all find some peace as they lay their father/ father-in-law to rest.

I discovered a new reader this morning which made my day...Deneen, welcome to my insanity! :)

Kel...thanks for the compliments, I hope you're as proud of my children as I am of my sisters!

Lots of love to you all...Happy Monday!

when it rains...it pours...

Well...came in to work this morning to discover that a sweet girl I knew from high school & chatted with regularly on Myspace & Facebook had passed away.

Mia was lovely & smart & a genuinely nice girl. Still fighting her cancer as it ravaged her tiny body & still continuing with her education & deep devotion to God until she took her last breath. This was not a fight she was willing to quit. Hearing the news of her passing at just 29 took my breath away. Mia was a fighter & an inspiration...she believed in herself & making herself a better woman. I am blessed to have known her.

At 10 a.m. my sweet Red called me to tell me that Steve's father had also lost his fight with cancer. Butch always greeted me with a warm smile & with genuine concern, he would ask how Barry, the kids & myself had been since our last meeting. It was at Tyler's birthday party in June that I saw him last, he looked tired & worn...but was there & greeted me with his usual smile.

He was a funny man, he tried awfully hard whenever I saw him to tell me how he'd been, he loved his grandsons...you could see that when he watched them play. And...I saw the admiration he had for Steve & the man he had become when he looked at him. He was so proud of his children...congratulating Jill on her beauty school test...sharing a cigarette on the deck with Twig & laughing with him...Butch was a proud man but a man who loved his children, it was evident. I could feel it when he spoke of them all.

Red was an incredible daughter-in-law to him...taking care of him with her husband...as they promised they would...in sickness & in health sometimes means your parents... I learned this by watching her. She was a champion in supporting Steve & she will be rewarded for her love & support! She never paused when something was needed- she just did it.

For all of the mistakes we make as humans...the loss is still so palpable once we leave. I am so relieved that they are at peace & are no longer suffering...I genuinely am...but it is with a heavy heart that I bid them a speedy journey into an eternal life of pure pleasure at the right hand of Our Father. I wish you both nothing but beautiful days ahead in your new Heavenly home. Rest at peace & know that no matter what...you did make a difference.

Peace & love be with you all...enjoy your today...wishing you all MILLIONS of tomorrows!!!

...full of pics from my great weekend!!

as you can see...it was an incredible weekend...thank you ladies...for loving me!



3 years ago today...I got the worst news I've ever gotten...I'm thinking of you, my sweet boy & missing you still daily! SJM, I will always love you!! Happy Elvis's birthday yesterday...I hope you partied with him for me! :)

Happy 57th birthday, Mommy!

Mommy turns 57 today, yesterday we had a lovely dinner at Heatho & Kurt's house & Kelly & AJ brought the Wii...we rocked it like it was our job. A magnificent time was had by all & Mommy got her birthday wish...all her girls & their boys together for a perfect night!

My weekend was surreal...it began with Brandon being chosen as Student of the Week for this week...pics of him & Memily (the stuffed giraffe) will follow...Moosh & I cleaned Friday nite like mad women in anticipation of the INCREDIBLE Saturday we had playing hostess to a few of our favorite girls from WHS...& Deptford.

Amy, Kelsie & Charlotte were in from Florida- which was a great excuse for us to have a small gathering at Club Thompson.

At the Club to welcome them & catch up on all of the gossip were Vicki (Moore), Tia (Harrell) & her son Drew...the little sweetie pie!!! Kara (Klinger) and her little lady Cameron who didn't let Katie be the boss of her...which I adored!!! Margie of course & me & my babies!

Vicki took the kids outside to play like any rocking adult would have...& unlike me...I look for any excuse to avoid the elements! We got to watch Drew practice his passes...I can't wait until they're in high school & Katie is cheering for him on the sidelines...he's gonna be an excellent football player.

Amy's girls got to test their Guitar Hero skills & I think next time they're up, they might just kick Margie's ass!!! Kara & I realized that we're practically neighbors...just a few minutes away from each other so I hope the girls get together again really soon for some girl time.

I'm looking forward to Ladies Night at the Swedes on Saturday because I just adore my time with Tia...who came bearing Christmas gift for me & the kids...that girl is just too together! I don't know how she finds the time...but I'm looking forward to lessons! Also joining us on Saturday will be Red, hopefully DAWN...hopefully Vicki, definitely Algina & Kristen...so another group of my lovely girls...I can hardly wait!!!!!

It was great to see all of these girls who I've known since I was just a girl & Brandon is just continually amazed that the friends you make as a child...can still be great friends as an adult. It's a beautiful lesson he's learning from these women that brighten my day by just telling stories of our lives!

Tonight, when I'm done work, I'm picking up Dawnie & taking her home to my house...she saw Barry & Brandon last (aside from pics) on our wedding day & hasn't had the pleasure yet of meeting my Katelyn...the thought of sharing them with yet another woman who has blessed my life by her mere existence makes me cry...I can't wait...& of course...Moosh will be there too!!

Here is to a perfect night tonite...to memories of a perfect Saturday (I hope Amy can forward me some pics...I was a loser & didn't take ANY???) To another perfect 57 years for my Mommy, to a beautiful week & a great Ladies Night...thanks for being my girls!!!!!!

Hoping the lovely & talented Dawn Crowding will squeeze in a tiny bit of time on Saturday...Tia & Margie miss you ALMOST as much as I do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the outfit...

i have told my beloved husband TWICE that this outfit doesn't match...AT ALL!!!

I got her a beautiful fleece shirt in hot pink to go with the pants...& a beautiful pair of light pink fleece pants to go with this top...as you can tell by her sweet face at 5:30 p.m. when I get to see her for the first time every day...she still thinks she's gorgeous!

& while I couldn't agree with her MORE...if I come home to this little sweetie in this outfit one more time...I'm taking her father to the hospital to have him tested for mental illness...only a LUNATIC would do this to a child! :)


LOL...just thought I'd share...Barry thought I was nuts for freaking about the outfit then taking her photo in it...I just had to share with all of you! :) She's going to have a serious talk with the man one day about this outfit!!!

a few new pics...

Happy 2008!!!

Lots to write about...Christmas was incredible & magical & perfect! I hope you all got everything you told Santa you wanted...I did- & I got so much more than that too!

Barry left no stone unturned when searching for the little things that make me happy! It's taken this long...but I think he's been paying attention! & I even managed to get him some surprise gifts- always difficult with him, but so worth it to see his reaction!

Brandon & Katelyn must have been very good this year- they too seemed to get every last thing their little hearts desired! Down to the stuffed cat & Tootsie rolls! They were both so incredible to watch...from Kate yelling, "Ta-DA" as she opened every gift to Brandon crying when he opened his James Bundy autograph! It was the best ever!

New Year's Eve was also incredible... champagne & snacks with a few of our very favorites is always sweet. Enjoying a nice warm fire, the laughter & the memories with people we truly love makes welcoming in a beautiful new year so perfect! I can't wait to do it again in 2009! Nothing sweeter than laughing all nite & kissing your loveys at the start of another fun filled year! Brandon & Katie LOVED banging their pots & pans & being able to say they watched the ball rise in the morning & drop at midnite...it was a great party...I just love a new tradition!

I hope you all made some cool resolutions & that you can stick to them...I made a few & look forward to seeing them through! Happy 2008...wishing you all the very best this year has to offer!

CHEERS!!!

Merry Christmas!!

Barry's last gift came, all my wrapping is done...now we're just in celebration mode...WISHING YOU ALL & YOUR FAMILIES THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CHRISTMAS & A BLESSED 2008!!!

we love you all!!!

hectic...

We're all ready for Santa...I'm trying to fight off a cold & avoid the kids so I don't give it to them...hoping this Christmas no one in our house is sick! Barry & I got all our wrapping done this past weekend- I just have to wrap a few more things for him & I can sit back AND RELAX!!! Just waiting for his last gift to be delivered...I did print out a color photo of it from the internet in case it doesn't arrive in time...& I'm really not stressing at all about it coming or not- it'll get here sooner or later. This is the first Christmas in YEARS...that I'm actually welcoming with no stress at all.

Are there things I could be stressing over...sure...I haven't baked a single cookie (which is my own holiday tradition), there never seems like there are enough gifts...or enough money spent...but REALLY...I think something in me told me to chill out.

I guess maybe it had to do with Gregg's funeral...I realized there are just much bigger things in the world then trying to buy the perfect gift...So, I'm comfortable & relaxed and HAPPY...I'm going to enjoy this holiday with all of my very favorite people & I'm going to love them & laugh with them & let them know I think THEY are my perfect gift...although I'll always accept something wrapped beautifully!! LOL!!!

& sometimes...the perfect gift is just a smile, a hug & a home cooked meal...& it takes the PERFECT PERSON to think that...I love you all...Merry Christmas!!!

Enjoy my MOST PERFECT GIFTS EVER...how cute are these kids????? :)

Happy Birthday, beautiful girl!!!

Happy 33rd birthday, Mooshie!!! We love you to pieces & hope the next 33 are just as beautiful! We are so lucky & thankful to have you in our lives! It was an incredible weekend...thank you for going to the Giants game with Barry, Zach & me...it totally ROCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you more than you could possibly imagine!!! You are the BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for letting us share one of the greatest days in HISTORY with you...33 years ago on 12/8...I was given an incredible gift that I wouldn't find until junior high...I'm so glad I had to go to speech class for you...MAWGIE MOYAH! Sending you millions of hugs & kisses on your perfect day!!!

Just take the damn test already!

I wanted to fill you all in on Brandon's first sleepover, the birthday party we went to with Josh & Dawn for Brandon's little friend Danielle, my Christmas shopping adventures, how I made an ass out of myself by screaming with excitement to Katie over the phone while at work because she went poopie on the potty, how excited the kids are to be seeing Santa tonight, how excited I am to see their little faces on Christmas because I got Guitar Hero, James Bundy's autograph & Ponyville...but I can't! There's something that's been eating at me...

It started Sunday night when Red called me to tell me that Gregg had passed away & what she'd been told of the tragic circumstances of his untimely passing...my heart sank & that feeling was back, one I thought I'd gotten over (mostly). One I thought I'd placed in a dark corner of my heart only to re-visit when thinking of how Sammy had gone...& wondering if there were something I could have done to reach out better, or to try to wrap my mind around it all. I just can't...still.

But, I was there again...wondering all of those very same things, still feeling inadequate when it came to explaining to myself...wondering how a person just feels so much pain or worry or sorrow...wondering what they were feeling at all...something I'll never know.

I put it out of my head as best I could...but then last night as I stood there with a best girl on either side of me, my Red & Mooshie right there by my side as always, holding my hands...looking at this boy I once knew, who I shared so many laughs with, who got me into trouble & I didn't mind; because we were having fun & we were in a class we both loved...the moment took my breath away. I knew I couldn't have done it without those two girls...but I still couldn't walk away; I didn't want to leave him there like that, I didn't want to say goodbye.

I wanted to get another Merry Christmas email filled with the details of his children's faces when they opened gifts. I wanted to hear him complain that he's gaining weight, or he's too tired from working so much. I wanted to read the words he closed every single email with...Great to hear from you keep in touch! I wanted to keep in touch.

So, we sat...& I saw a tall man enter the room & it suddenly clicked...LIFE IS A TEST. I'm not a religious kind of girl...but it really did come to me from someone!! John Gamble walked in, this strong educator whom I admire greatly. He was moved by this event & he was gracious...when I graduated almost 15 years ago, I admired him. Knowing that he remembered us 15 years later & was happy to see we were well but wished we'd bumped into him under different circumstances- it touched me. He didn't need to be there, he didn't need to love his students, but he just did...that was Mr. Gamble always & he moved me to tears. But I really did hear it...LIFE IS A TEST. To stop myself from crying at my desk...I just thought...maybe Mr. Gamble is the second coming of Christ & he actually spoke those words to me...I know I have a sick sense of humor....but it is funny & that would be kinda cool! :)

So, I've been thinking...it's not a pass or fail kind of test, but I know there are definitely wrong answers. I'm not sure how I'm doing on my test...I know there are moments when I'm getting every answer right! I see that in my children. I looked at Gregg's children 2 of them upset & 2 untouched by the gravity of what was happening around them...based purely upon the fact that the # of years they've been taking their tests is just a small one...they'll never know their Daddy...that hurts my heart...he was a fun guy & a proud Daddy...I hope someone tells them that!

I know there have been moments in my test when I needed Cliff's Notes...there have been moments that required 2 friends & a phone book, moments that I needed Jody Carr to hold my hand in her daughter's room & tell me I answered that part of my test correctly, moments that required me taking a long drive across our country only to be rescued by Melissa Hall, moments that required my sister beating down doors to get to me, moments that required me taking my baby sisters to the police station...I'm not sure how I did on those parts, I guess we'll see.

But there are my moments...when I've reached out to a long lost friend to be given a best friend back for the rest of my life, moments when my best friend was there to hold my newborn & to rescue his Daddy at Burger King, moments when we as sisters in our hearts have loved each other through a loss of a loved one...seeing those 2 faces when all hope is gone...those are moments I know I'm rocking the HELL out of this test.

I was never very studious, good grades just came naturally to me so test taking isn't really an issue. I love tests & I love a challenge even more...& yes, life is a test. There are hard parts & easy parts. Parts where I don't know the answer but I can certainly phone a friend. I'm not against "cheating" at this test...sometimes more people need to help me with my test. And sometimes I just want to look away from my answer sheet & play with Play Doh & my babies all day! However, my one option I KNOW is NOT to stop taking this test, it is a test I am thankful for, even when I can't read the questions. It is a test that has blessed me with so much.

I do want all of you- wherever you are, to know that my solemn promise to you is...if at any time, day or night...you think you just can't take your test anymore...CALL ME...I will come running...I will bring my cheat sheet, or a bottle of wine, or 2 arms to hug you tighter than you could possibly imagine...I WILL TAKE YOUR TEST WITH YOU!!! I mean that more than you can ever know! The questions I have in my heart are too many to bear another unknown loss. I will be there, I swear...don't stop believing in US, we can get through anything together.

I love you all completely...with all that I am...LOVE YOURSELVES!!

AND TAKE THE DAMN TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so busy...

Well, I can't honestly say nothing new since I last wrote...we've just been so busy!!! Brandon was sick over Thanksgiving, WHS lost to Paulsboro, I'm now sick...Grandmom & Pop Pop are in Florida on a beautiful & well deserved vacation (which leaves Barry & I with having to REALLY be Mommy & Daddy...something we're not used to at all!!!) Meggie got her VERY FIRST CAR!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so proud of her...it's adorable & it's I'm Not Really A Waitress red...so cute!

All I can say is THANK GOD for my in-laws...they spoil us rotten...we've been driving ourselves insane with picking Brandon up from the bus & getting Katie from school...things they do which we honestly fail to realize is SUCH AN ENORMOUS HELP!!! Red has been taking care of Brandon after school...another ENORMOUS HELP!!! I just feel completely lost...it's a little scary!

We do, however, have our Christmas tree up & it's completely beautiful...if I do say so myself! It's a stinky picture from my stinky phone...but you get the point...I'll be taking more with my camera this weekend! & I have adjusted the positioning of the tree so you don't see that cord of lights leading to the wall...that pic is when I was still playing with the tree...LOL! I can hardly wait for Christmas this year...Brandon & Katie are so excited...it's all they talk about & I'm threatening them constantly..."Don't make me call Santa!" The fear that strikes into a child is a glorious thing...although...Kate keeps saying..."Do it, do it!" I don't think she has the same fear that my beautiful Brandon does...LOL! That's the beauty of my ladybug though!!! :) NO FEAR! :)

I fell asleep in the recliner again last nite...Barry tries to no avail to wake me & then I end up sleeping in jeans...& then bitching at him for letting me sleep in jeans...I think it's like the 4th time that's happened since he started making nightly fires in the fireplace...I can't resist the snuggly feeling of that chair & my blanket...the heat of that fire & the smell of burning wood...a fireplace was always something I adored as a child & so I'm addicted now! So...I keep sleeping in the basement...LOL!

November is OVER today...good LORD! This year has been incredible...& it's almost gone! I wonder what 2008 will bring...hopefully only more beautiful things!!! Happy Friday, my loves!!! I've got TONS of Christmas shopping to do this weekend...wish me luck!!!

& Red...THANK YOU for dinner last nite & for helping me this week...you really are the very BEST!!! I'd be lost without you!!!!!!!!

6 words...

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL??


Hoping the Herd does as well this Saturday as they did last Saturday! FYI...that's Jimmer & James Bundy (James is the kids FAVORITE player & Jimmer was mine!!!) #5 in the middle is James doing his THING!!! & the last pic is of me, Kate, Bran (he is the brown hat & orange coat) & Kelly at the game this past Saturday...we were on the front page of the Courier Post!! GO HERD!!!!!!!

been meaning to blog...

just haven't found the time; but I'm taking the time now...Margie is in Florida & leaves for the Bahamas tomorrow- she's having a total blast. Tomorrow starts my Cole duty...Bran & Kate can't wait!

This past weekend...one of the coolest I've had in a while. Tia & I took the kids to a WHS football game- the HERD crushed Audubon & the kids had a great time. I really love high school football- there's just something amazing about kids just playing because it's something they love. I got goosebumps hearing Mr. Dickson's voice say, "James Bundy on the carry!" & "Touchdown, James Bundy!" it took me back to those days when I was in junior high & he was talking about James' dad, Jimmer.

I guess you had to be there..or you have to love WHS football as much as I do...but I know I was witnessing something great...I was watching this game through Jimmer's eyes...seeing him stand there on the sideline beaming with pride as his son had the same incredible accomplishments on that very same field that he had so many years before with the same man calling the action...IT ROCKED. It was one of those moments that sucks the air out of you as a parent...when you realize the magic that another parent is living. It also made me think about WHS's biggest fan, Bill Moyer...& how excited I know he was to be seeing it too...he was appreciating it as much as I was...I'M CERTAIN!

So...great afternoon...followed by a REALLY great nite! Dawn picked me up for a nite out with my girls...& it was different girls...I was a little nervous I admit...I just wanted no drama & to see these girls that I knew years ago & I wanted to have fun with them, to love them...like I did over 15 years ago...& you know what???? I DID! We laughed & caught up & talked about our babies & our girlfriends & what makes us the women we've become. And I loved it!!! Dawn was completely charming & relaxed...& we laughed...and had a 2 a.m. Wawa run...followed by a little road trip!! ;) I haven't done that in years!!!

Margie texted pics from Florida that morning so we all got to look at her adventures & hope that she brings us home some WARM WEATHER! Red had a headache & didn't make it. They were both missed & I filled everyone in on them. I hope we all get to do it again real soon...& that Moosh & Red will be there...they missed an incredible evening!

Dawn, Kristen, Tia, Algina, & Mrs. Twig...thanks for a super fun nite! Looking forward to doing it again real soon!!!

Sunday, Barry & I took the kids to Toys 'R Us to spend their gift cards they got for their birthdays...we were there for almost 3 hours...Bran walked in & knew what he wanted...Mommy's princess...she had to look at EVERy toy on EVERY aisle...there might be something better around the corner...THAT'S MY GIRL!!!!!!! I can't wait to start really shopping with her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last nite I talked to Moosh again...she's loving life...I'll talk to her again tonite & then not again until SUNDAY...no chatting at sea! Bon Voyage sweet girl!! OH...& tonite...Dawn is going to learn her way to WHS so she can meet us on Saturday to get her football game on (Josh has soccer until 12:30 & I can't be late for kickoff...I have issues, I'm aware!) ...& I'll show her the Woodbury spots...no kids...just smoking & touring Woodbury...just like the good old days...that was before kids though...& I didn't have a license...LOL! A little stalking route anyone...LOL!!!!!!??????????

CONGRATULATIONS, MEGGIE!!!

THIS IS THE FACE OF SOUTH JERSEY'S NEWEST DRIVER!!!!!!!!!! WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU MEGGIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAY TO GO...WE KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!