i keep meaning to write...to tell you all about how perfect & beautiful the last days of summer truly were...but then something else comes along that requires Mommy's immediate attention. Today...this was it all day...my MAN...my sweet boy! He's officially a first grader & a beautiful, sweet, sensitive one at that! Today...I had multiple epiphany's...this boy...makes me a better human being, this I know!
This was Bran & Kate on one of the last days of summer 2007...just these happy, giggly little creatures that see the amazement in laying in soft grass that tickles your toes through your flip flops...I swear to you all...we just laid there on that blanket (thanks ABC) for hours that day...laughing & coloring & being the 3 of us!! One of my favorite things about a Saturday...is I get ME time with the 2 of them...just the 3 of us! Then I get rescued just in time...LOL! Seriously though...this was one of those perfect days...one I know for the rest of my life I'll be able to hear in the back of my mind...the sounds of the 2 of them...& the smells of them...the love they give me when it's just us...those are the things I LIVE for!!!
Then, somehow, I blinked & today was here...& he kept repeating over his Pop Tart this morning...through the tears he was trying to choke back...I'M NERVOUS...that was all he said...repeatedly...I wanted to scoop him up & run away with him...to tell him Mommy would never make him do anything that scares him...but I can't...this is one of those things...these are those life lessons...sometimes you're scared & nervous about things & you STILL have to do them...they're things you'll love with all of you! I wanted to tell him...those butterflies...they're the things that let you know you're alive...they're not scary...love them...they're the things that let you know good things are ahead...that I hope one day...he'll be saying...I'M NERVOUS to me over a Pop Tart & there will be a beautiful girl getting into a white dress talking to her Mommy...who has those same butterflies! These are all the insane things I think in those moments! I know how much he loves school...how much I loved it...it's just the not knowing what you're about to face that makes him nervous...but that is the good stuff!
So...yeah, I'm sitting here crying now...thinking about how much has changed since this time last year...since just last week...it's an incredible gift Barry has given me...these 2 tiny little people...these 2 little souls that carry my heart in their hands...I can see it beat faster with every new day...with every single step that takes them closer to their beautiful & inevitably brilliant futures (c'mon...it's still me...these kids are gonna be god damn rock stars or something!!!...if i'm too serious for too long i become hysterical...gimme a damn break!!!) But, I do...I feel my heart race...it's a good race, a long hard race...it's the same race Brandon's butterflies are doing...& I can't wait to see what's waiting at the finish line...
run fast little one...just don't squeeze your hand shut too hard...my heart is a very, very sensitive thing...& take your time every so often to stop...& just enjoy the grass tickling your toes through your flip flops...no matter how old you are!I will love you for my lifetime & far, far beyond, Brandon Alexander Thompson...you, my love...are my reason for being alive!!!
8 comments:
i can see what gave you those puffy eyes, and they're catchy...i have now too, so thank you...Let's just keep the boys as sweet as possible for as long as we can, keep reminding them that as they get older and tougher, that they need to keep the precious teddy bear inside. I tell josh that even when he gets older, and doesn't need me so much, his soul is like a teddy bear that I want to stay soft. yip, i can hear you rolling your eyes at that lameness, lol, but its so true! love you bunches!!
i love the teddy bear theory...great stuff love you too!
Damn, girl! Starting my waterworks first thing in the morning!
i love you RED!!! thank you for loving Bran!!
OMG! I am now crying at work! That has the be the sweetest thing that I ever read. Your children are the sweetest angels that I have every met! I have never met two children who take after the parents in the most amazing ways!
Love you! Mooshie
awwwwwwwww...thank you, my love!!! you are too sweet...truly! love you more!!!
How great are those kids???? They've got some pretty spectacular parents, too. It's a joy to see them grow up. I am loving that Bran was rocking a very Uncle Kurt shirt for the first day of school. I read this yesterday and was wrecked, I cam back to comment and got wrecked again!
an uncle kurt shirt...LOL!!!
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